So today was definitely Titanic day on TBS and oh how a epic day it was. The 1997 award winning film Titanic was one of J.C.'s  (and I don't mean Jesus Christ either) massive productions. The movie itself cost $200 million to make and with all its special effects and massive stage props, well of course it did. Now let me say this first before I go into my revue, the actual real life story of the sinking of the Titanic is incredibly sad and is a tragedy. I would never make fun of the actual event. Now J.C.'s version I will poke, ridicule and burn at the stake while chanting "What the fcku!".

Oh where to start. Let's start with the special effects. J.C. is known for his exaggerated effects but damn! Did you see how massive that ship was? I mean, I understand that the actual Titanic was the biggest ship for its time but is it necessary to be taking up the entire screen J.C.? One of those huge columns on top of the ship intentionally took up my entire screen, no bullshit either. I'm gonna need you to take it down about $100 million dollars. And then we wonder why we're in such a recession.

Next let's discuss the weak ass love story. What really gets to me is that while the ship has sunk and there's furniture floating around, Leo D. grabs one for Kate Dub but doesn't grab one for himself. Now fellas, as much as you love your girlfriends and wives, I can't imagine you not trying to at least save your own asses, especially after you've already secured her safety. And as Leo D. is freezing his ass of in the icy water, she turns to him and tells him that she loves him. You love him? Hell, you better adore, love and worship his ass since he's about to die for your slow ass self. Favorite scene: one sweaty hand print on the inside of a car window. Favorite line: "I'll never let go Jack. I'll never let go". Dammit let go.

Lastly, the ending scene with the old, aging woman. The movie begins with a crew trying to locate the massive diamond she was given as an engagement present. 194 minutes later, she steps out barefoot into the cold, leans over the railing and aimlessly throws the massive diamond overboard. What the fcku! You mean you had the diamond this entire time? Well damn, we could have cut the 194 minutes of my life that I wasted watching this movie in half. I know she had a personal attachment to the diamond, but I'm pretty sure they would have given her massive buttloads of money for it. Enough to take care of her family for years and years. I know its not about the money, but its about the time, the time I wasted watching another massive J.C. production.

Moral of the story: Sometimes masstivity (and yes it's a word) equals ridiculousness on a massive level. Prime example: Avatar. Point made.

Tila Tequila Twitter Ticker: Baby Daddy Banging, Pleading

February 5th, 2010 10:39 AM by Hilton Hater

The Hollywood Gossip Week in Review: January 30 - February 5, 2010

February 6th, 2010 8:42 AM by Hilton Hater

It was a week that featured the release of one sex-crazed star from rehab (Tiger Woods), along with more revelations about another (John Edwards).
Below, we recount the highs, low and general hysterics from the last few days in the celebrity gossip world...

• Tiger Woods is a free man. Hide your cocktail waitresses!
• Tila Tequila left Twitter, then returned two days later and said she's doing her fake baby daddy.
• Jake had some trouble when he strayed from cue cards on this week's edition of The Bachelor.

• Michael Irvin was sued for rape.
• Jon Stewart provided a rare voice of reason on Fox News.
• Note to Mel Gibson: You're the a$$hole.
• The Jersey Shore cast needs a place to live.

So it's that time of year again. Time for cards, candy and gifts. No, its not Christmas. Guess again. Yeeaahh that's right, its Valentine's Day!!! Who can resist the holiday of love, lust and anger if you're single. It's the last holiday that makes you feel shitty as hell for deciding to follow the unbeaten path of singledom. If you didn't feel lonely and depressed during Christmas or New Years, don't worry, here's your chance now. So for those of you who have no plans but to sit at home on the couch and curse the gods of love, here's a movie that will make you wonder if love is really worth it in the first place.

The 1967 film Bonnie and Clyde is based off the lives of real life bank robbers Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. Set during the Great Depression, the film showcases the attempted robberies and personal lives of these two famed robbers. What makes the film a great V-Day film is that it has all the good and bad characteristics of love minus the ooshy, mushy, gushy stuff love stories today want to jam pack in 90 minutes. I mean, from the beginning you can tell its gonna be a destructive relationship. He sweeps her off her feet by telling her that he's a bank robber after attempting to steal her granny's car. Bonnie then skips work and gleefully hops in the car. Soon following that, she tries to make out with him like any good girlfriend would but he stops her and says "I'm not for that love shit, I'm a bank robber dammit", or something like that. He then tells her "I don't like that shit in your hair, take it out", which she does. Oh the early components of an abusive relationship.

Best part is that the entire film is like that basically; girl tries to win boy, boy has little interest, girl cries and boy falls in love. You can feel the devotion that Bonnie has for Clyde and although Clyde tries to deny it, yeah he loves her. I mean there's not too many girls that will drop everything and run away with a bank robber at first meet. For those who have never seen the movie or know how the story ends don't read this part. *The ending scene where they both get shot down is incredible, all bullet holes and shit. All I can say is place your ex-significant other's face here*

Back to what I was saying, the movie has that nostalgic acting in it. Remember when movies meant something more than just massive paychecks and actors could actually act? Yeah, its like that. The film was nominated for eight top awards and several other smaller ones, for those of you  who care about that shit. It's a film that takes you back to the days when "men were men and did manly things without caring how the womenfolk felt 'cuz they were manly men".

Point is, the movie is a landmark film, opening doorways for more sexual and violent films. Watch it with a holster in tow and snacks to go. And don't be surprised if you have the itching feeling to grab your ex-significant other to go rob banks just to watch them get shot down in the end. Oops, sorry bout that spoiler. Happy V-Day!

...umm-- yea...-- so perhaps my echo introducing this post didn't work out as well as i'd like BUT nonetheless this is my movie pick of the month... 'THE CRAZIES'... i mean Holy SHIT... What better way to follow up the love-y dove-y Valentines Day season than by.... goin insane! so apparently the inhabitants of a small Iowa town are suddenly plagued by insanity and then death after a mysterious toxin contaminates their water supply (Ice Mountain For The WIN!). I'm lookin' forward to the viral insanity coming to a theater near you February 26th, 2010

Nothing in Hollywood is original. Through the years, musical artists have re-done, re-mixed and often times exaggerated versions of original songs. Now that they've nearly exhausted the original talent in that area, Hollywood has turned its eyes towards the movie business, gripping its claws and tearing into what was once considered to be classic movies. In 2009, we saw remakes of  Last House on the Left, The Taking of Pelham 123, and even Fame.

However, not all remakes are done well. We all remember Michael Bay's disastrious remake of Friday the 13th and who can forget the lame remake of My Bloody Valentine in...3-D! Now don't get me wrong, not every remake is a flop. The upcoming film, Wolfman, which is a remake of the The Wolfman looks incredible (Benicio del Toro being one of the many reasons) and The Crazies looks just as exciting and gruesome as the original. But I think we can all agree, not all movies need to be remade. Movies like Nightmare on Elm Street, Drop Dead Fred and It should be left alone. Why fix something if it's not broke? I guess what I'm really trying to say is, how many more movies can Michael Bay mess up? I'd rather not find out. 

Bonsoir Bootleggers--- 1mbalanc3d here to fill you in on the upcoming (?) Gears of War.... MOVIE!

Now, being a pretty avid fan of both Xbox 360 titles i was amped to hear (several times) that a movie may be released...heres the back-story for the first title:

Gears of War takes place on the planet Sera. A radioactive liquid called Imulsion becomes a highly valued power source after a scientist discovers how to use it, and the economic shockwave led to several wars between nations. The Coalition of Ordered Governments (COG) originally existed only as an obscure world-government philosophy, but it evolved into a legitimate, though minor, political party during the 79-year long Pendulum Wars. After "Emergence Day," when the Locust began their attack on humanity, the COG were the ones who took the necessary steps to ensure the survival of human civilization, instituting martial law and taking charge of the effort against the Locust. Fourteen years later, the COG is the only human government left on Sera.

Long Story Short.... Shit dun' happened and its time to fix it... You're Marcus Fenix, you've got your buddies Dominick Santiago, Baird, and the Cole-Train (Boom BABY!) Emergence day has hit and the Locust want all the glow-y, juic-y, goodness that is the Imulsion and your job is to stop them... Lancering, Curbstomping, and Shotgunning them all into submission! GO HOME BITCHES! (so much fun ^_^)....then it hit me... watch Hollywood fuck this one up too...especially with the low ratio of GOOD Game to Movie transitions and vice-versa.

With Len Wiseman (director) and Chris Morgan (writer, Wanted) at the helm GOW:TM is still in the earliest stages, but more importantly—it is still in production. How early? No concept art, casting or production stills yet. It seems like such a simple idea to produce... but rumors have it that that movie wont be 'fan-pleasing' at all to those that follow the storyline over the two game titles.. WHAT THE HELL?!... Seriously EPIC... you're going to allow Hollywood to botch your gaming giant.... well hopefully within the next few years we shall see (along with the release of Gears of War 3!).

No real news has been updated since early August of last year... but i'll update as, or if, things develop.... As a fan and a gamer, I only hope that with such a bad ass game as a precursor to a movie.. the producers keep the bitchassness to a minimum.

Kim Kardashian & Kendra Wilkinson Get into Pre-Super Bowl Spat

"This is the real showdown, baby. Let the claws come out!" Ryan Seacrest said, announcing his interview with the two women on his KIIS-FM radio show.

Kardashian got into the spirit of things by kiddingly threatening, "I'm going to poison your coffee!"

Wilkinson replied by taunting Kardashian about rumors that she and Bush planned to get engaged if his team wins the game on Sunday, something the E! reality star has denied. Seacrest himself referred to Kardashian as Bush's "soon to be fiancée – I think."

Pre-Game Rituals

Although both women are camping out in the same Miami hotel as their dudes, their pre-game rituals are quite different.

"[The players are] staying a couple floors up from me," said Wilkinson. "[Hank] comes in here with me and spends time with me and the baby – his 'daddy time.' " Baskett previously told reporters that his 7-week-old son, Hank Baskett IV, would watch the game from a skybox with his mom even if he doesn't remember it.

Meanwhile, Kardashian will enjoy visits from Bush: The couple will have dinner together, then return to the hotel for in-room massages, but Bush will stay in a separate room, following a team rule.

On game day, Wilkinson's wardrobe will be a Colts jersey that says "Mrs. Baskett," while Kardashian said she's "superstitious" about wearing a team jersey and will simply don a T-shirt, jeans and boots.

"I always wear something black and gold, though," says Kim, referring to the Saints' team colors.

As for who will win, Wilkinson predicts a 27-17 Colts victory, but Kardashian – again, citing her superstition – refused to predict the final score.

Still, Wilkinson couldn't resist another jibe, saying, "I'm just wondering who's going to be holding the baby while I'm out there on the field [after the game] running and jumping around!"