Hansel & Gretal: Another Grimm's Fairy Tale Gone Awry


For anyone who knows me, and not many do, I love me some good Grimm's tales. I love how in order to keep children in line, parents would scare the shit out of them. Spinning morality out of terror, fright and just plain simplicity. Some of my favorite stories are Cinderalla (How to Marry for Money), Rumplestiltskin (Why Memory is a Forgotten Virtue) and Little Red Riding Hood (Never Ever Talk to Strangers). Because of my deep love and even deeper respect for these tales, I'm always weary when a big production studio wants to cash in on these traditions. But, I'm a fair person and I give each one a full chance. Which is what I tried to do for Hansel & Gretal. What a sad mistake. So where should I start....

 Well, for starters, the premise was enticing. You have two siblings who were basically abandoned at childhood, deserted in the woods, only to meet up with an evil witch disguised in sweets. At least, that's the premise we've grown up to know. The movie takes a step from the norm and turns these two into witch hunters. Going from town to town, killing all witches known and saving little kids from terror, all for a small fee. I will admit, they were definitely bad ass and the fight scenes were up to par on the bad ass scale. Once you find out the story behind their abandonment and the real reason their father left them astray in the woods, you go hmmm...that's different. But different can be good and it was. It was definitely a twist on a well-known story. However, the plot itself could have been much stronger. You have this great background story that unfortunately does just that, stay in the background. What you're left with is a water down tale filled with semi-action scenes and not enough well written script. It was more than just disappointing.

What wasn't initially disappointing were the witches. Different from the ordinary and definitely as ugly as can be. I enjoyed their evil ways and wanted more. So unfortunately, here goes some more disappointment. Not enough witch power. The movie only gives you a glimpse into what witches are able to do. I wanted to see some cool tricks and only got a preview. Again, more than just disappointing.

 To tell you the truth, this movie overall was a disappointment. There were times were it captured my attention but then quickly let it go. It was like a movie that could have been so much greater than it allowed itself to be. To prove that it wasn't just me, the guy next to me started to loudly snore halfway through the movie. Yes, even for him I'm sure it was a disappointment. Oh well, I guess we'll have to wait until another Grimm's Fairy Tale is up for butchering and hopefully not as much as this.

 Graphics: 4
Cohesiveness: 4
Story Line: 2
ADD Meter: 2
Overall: 3

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Oh Mama, Dear Mama....


Ahhh!!! It's been a loooong time since I've posted anything on here. Phew, I think my last post was in 2011 and it's now 2013. That's saying more than a lot. Although for you faithful followers on my personal blog, it's only been a few days. So, instead of focusing on sad reunions, let's dive straight in.

 Last week, I gathered up the courage and went to go see Guillermo del Toro's supernatural film, Mama. Now, I understand that this movie is a combined effort of Del Toro, J. Miles Dale and Barbara Muschietti, so no harsh criticism here. I will say this, the teamwork of these three super director/producers created a work of fantastic proportions. I've never been a huge fan of gory horror. I believe that the best scare is a dry scare- a bone chilling ghost story or urban legend spun to its finest quality. The one thing I love about this movie is that it does just that. Minimal gore and blood but enough jumps, screams and suspense to keep you attentive and on the edge of your seat. I don't want to give away too many spoilers, but the movie's strong point is its plot line. I noticed that several critics called the story line sketchy and jumpy. However, I believe that if you paid attention, which you should be doing anyway, it was easy to keep on track. It was a beautifully sad story behind all the screams and thrills, one that tried to touch you at heart's core. I think it may have missed mine since my heart is a bit off center but nonetheless I got the point.

Another crowning point were the two sisters, played in their older character forms by Megan Charpentier and Isabelle Nelisse. Can I just say WOW!! These two knew how to capture an audience's attention and their chemistry played out so well together. I loved how Victoria (played by Charpentier) was more soft around the edges, even as the oldest child. Willing to make changes and allow pure love in her life, she was more open to the thought of rebuilding her life. However, her younger and creepier sister Lily, seemed to glow on the edge of evil. So attached to Mama, she refused to let anything new in and couldn't understand why her sister had turned away from the warming love of this creature known as Mama. What made her character even more enticing were her body movements. Staggered and animalistic, even after being found she held onto the behaviors learned while growing up in isolation. She preferred to crawl instead of walking straight and slept under the protective bed of her sister, refusing to venture off into her own space. It was saddening and fearful  but yet oh so frightening all at once. I LOVED IT! I couldn't take my eyes off her. She played the role so well yet didn't steal the show which I thought was a hard thing not to do.

 The ending of Mama was different and not what I expected. Definitely a twist at the end and I won't ruin it for all but whatever you expect to happen won't. Overall, the graphics and cinematography of the film were amazing and kept your visuals in a gaze while the story line kept your ears hounding for more. I will say, Mama is yet another Del Toro accomplishment.

Graphics: 5
Cohesiveness: 4
Story Line: 5
ADD Meter: 4
Overall Epicness: 5

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